Emotional Labor in the Workplace

Women of color are targets of undeserved harassment and violence due to the nature of their bodies.

The workplace is no exception. Women of color who take on the burden of speaking up when discrimination shows up in the workplace do so even when they risk taking hits. They can become labeled as angry, risk their job, opportunities for their advancement, future workplace hostility, and then bear the distress of feeling disempowered to change the wrongful situation when frustratingly, there seems like no path toward change.

At the same time, we often bear the burden of regulating our emotions while doing so. And many of us have become skilled at this, in order to ensure our safety.

There are studies and articles around this, about how this can trigger ptsd, the disproportionate responsibility of women of color managing others emotions, how this toxic environment impacts retention of bipoc employees. But at the end of the day, this is the experience of people everyday.

We cope in different ways - denial, freezing and withdrawing, even smiling and laughing, But inside I guess that the feeling is the same. We feel minimized, devalued, gaslighted, worried/scared, and like a punching bag.

For those of us who continue to show up, day after day, it takes a toll. We wonder, how do I get out of this? I need this job to pay my bills and I don't know if I could escape this even if I work somewhere else. Why does it have to be this way?

This is where self care comes in. Yes - that includes meditation, it includes returning and moving our bodies. Accepting and expressing joy. But it also includes stopping the cycle of retraumatization and enforcing boundaries, speaking truth, unpacking trauma, calling the difficult question, creating/seeking pathways to restitution and resolution. It includes understanding situations as they present themselves - time and power dynamics included.

I wonder where the role of genuine relationship falls into spectrum of medicines for self-care. How self-care is community care - feeling truly heard and seen by another, creating the sense of belonging. This is a place I wish existed more.

But I do think this kind of community is possible outside of the workplace, where people find common ground, come together as peers, with the shared goal of connection and support. Sometimes we still have to search for this space outside our families or existing circles of friends.

Maybe that's where we can find some relief, learn the feeling of being at rest and relaxation, and continually bring ourselves back to a state of homeostasis. To have the encouragement and community who act as sturdy pillars of support when we reach for the difficult pieces of true healing. In my opinion, this work doesn't happen in the workplace.